Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think people are normalizing furries
I forgot wine drunk hurts
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
