There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
