Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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