If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
