I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
