It's Friday. Sex?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
