We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
