Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
