shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize