So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
