WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
