you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
