What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
