Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize