You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
