you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
