just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
