so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Shame - the story of my life.
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