Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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