Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
