Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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