is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize