Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
