with your own penis?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
