Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
