Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
