The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
