Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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