I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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