she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
