Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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