i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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