so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
