Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize