Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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