porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You've changed since you got that strap on
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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