need another drink. this is the easiest way
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
