I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Even my vagina gasped.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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