As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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