Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
