I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
