the condom got lost in my hair
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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