haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
