just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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