you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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