If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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