I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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