How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
