Christians are straight up FREAKS
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
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