Reggie can tackle my bush.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
