Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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