You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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