If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
we should paint friendship bongs
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