We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
