I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
