Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
