i don't like sucking hair
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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