When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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