hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
