lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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