i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
