I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
