YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think I just shit out all my problems.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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