I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
