I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
