I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
