I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
