I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
