he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize