someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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