i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
