my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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