How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
